So today is the day that I go and pick JoeJo up. I had a private cremation for him, and ordered a pretty little wooden tower urn with a picture in the front of him. I am dreading to go get him, he has been ready to be picked up since Tuesday, but I can’t bear to go by myself, I know I will be a wreck. The tears are still flowing, and now I have reached the stage of guilt. Should have I tried to help him out more? My husband tells me that I should not do that to myself, that I did what was right, and that it was his time.
I still cry almost every night when i go to sleep. Up until the last night he was with me, he slept in my arms with his little head on my shoulder, and we would fall asleep. I miss that terribly. I know he loved me and felt comfort in my arms.
This past week I recieved a card from my vet. You know, one of the cards they send out when you lose a pet. It was made a bit special by what my vet wrote:
I’m sorry for your loss of JoeJo. I know how much you loved him. I hope you’ll find some comfort in knowing that without your great love and care he wouldn’t have had that long happy bouncy walk I saw in his last senior years. ~Sincerly, Dr. H, DVM
I wanted to share a few pics from a photo session we had on January 1st, 2013
By the edge of a wood, at the foot of a hill, is a lush, green meadow where time stands still. Where the friends of man and woman do run, when their time on earth is over and done.
For here, between this world and the next, is a place where each beloved creature finds rest. On this golden land, they wait and they play, till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.
No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness, for here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness. Their limbs are restored, their health renewed, their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.
They romp through the grass, without even a care, until one day they start, and sniff at the air. All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back, then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.
For just at that instant, their eyes have met; Together again, both person and pet. So they run to each other, these friends from long past, the time of their parting is over at last.
The sadness they felt while they were apart, has turned into joy once more in each heart. They embrace with a love that will last forever, and the side-by-side, they cross over…together.
Inspired by a Norse legend
Just lost my Shih Tzu girl who just turned 9. On July 23rd, 2013. Doc told me she would make it, and I really thought she was going to, she fought hard for 46 days. I have never seen anything in my life fight so hard to live, even until her last weak breath. She kind of looked like your JoeJo. Just picked her ashes up today, I didn’t feel I could go get them, but I couldn’t bare the thought of leaving her either, so I forced myself. She was diagnosed with evans syndrome. She couldn’t breathe anymore, Doc thinks with the sickness, the meds her heart must have given up (So hard to imagine). It was so hard to see her like that. I think these furbabies are our soul mates, and it is so difficult to let them go. I only can hope, we can be reunited with them, as the Rainbow Bridge says. 🙁 The pain is just endless. She was my happiness…
Shih Tzu Mommy says
I am sooo sorry… my heart aches with yours. It is not easy… yesterday I took his crib out of the bedroom, yes I had a co-sleeper for him on the nights when it was hard for him to sleep. I completely broke down, I ended up on the bed crying and crying. I know they are waiting for us… he tried to stay with me as long as he could, I knew he couldn’t bear the pain any longer.
Sand Spring Chesapeakes says
My heart breaks for you. joejo is home with you now and never to leave again.
Laura @ For the Love of Dogs says
I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like JoeJo and you had such a wonderful relationship. I hope that your fond memories will help ease your pain. Puppy kisses and tail wags to you and your family.
Laura @ For the Love of Dogs recently posted…Saving Cassidy
So sorry for your loss. Words cannot describe the feeling in your heart. The physical ache that is with you. I loss my Gracie Girl in Nov of 2012 (11 yrs) and then in Feb 2013 my Darby(16 yrs) and I still sit here and cry from the pain and guilt almost daily, asking myself if I could have done anything differently. Both were under my vets care and he assured me we did everything possible. Yet there is always a question. My prayers are with you and only time will ease the pain you feel.They will always be with you in your heart and memory. I plant a rose bush for all the ones I’ve loss through the years so that when they bloom I’m reminded how they loved to run and play in the yard and when I bring the cut roses inside their memories are ever with me. Sweet forever memories to you.
I am so sorry for your loss. Knowing JoJo is in a better place is usually trumped by grief and loss in the beginning. I was following his story and I think that you did the right thing so don’t beat yourself up.
Jessica@YouDidWhatWithYourWeiner recently posted…Help Us Save Animals Doing What We Love – Petties Award
I went through a similar experience 5 years ago, and it is only the past year that I have been able to shake that feeling of guilt – even though there was nothing I could have done differently. I planted an evergreen shrub outside my living room window in Kitty’s memory and think of her every day when I see it.
Thinking of you.
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Caren Gittleman says
((((hugs))))) to you, oh I KNOW how hard it is! I have my Angel Bobo in a wooden urn with his photo on it too, believe it or not it DOES bring me some comfort. When I picked him up after being cremated I had to have my husband with me too. It was one of the most awful days of my life. Thinking of you.
Caren Gittleman recently posted…What a LUCKY Dog! I’m in “Doggitude:What Dogs REALLY Think–In 17 Sassy Syllables” by Carole Pivarnik